The Sunday Lesson

3 Feb

THE LESSON

The lesson is read from the ‘I’m too old’ testament from book of Gazzagurns on the third Sunday run after Christmas.

And lo the rider looked out and the morning was fair, save for the testing wind from the west. The rider spake onto his spouse and said ‘ make haste for today we will enjoy the bounty of a steady run’. The rider and spouse did make onto the meeting place of the children of Shimano by the crossing point of the great river but the spouse fell by the wayside on the journey. The rider joined with the tribe known as the wheelers and set forth onto the blind run to find his spouse and found her in desolation as all air was missing from her chariot wheel. And lo the rider said onto the children of Shimano ‘go forth onto Agivey whilst I tend to my spouse, yeah do not delay but return onto me whence you reach Agivey’. And duly the spouse was tended but her chariot wheel was beyond repair and she didst retire to her quarters.
The rider did determine to re-unite with the wheelers and did smite upon the pedals with all his might and drove forth until he was on the rivet. But the rider had strayed from the path of abstinence and into the land of overindulgence and desert of non-training; lo his weakness of faith was manifest in laboured speed. The rider placed his trust in the wheelers and had faith that they would rescue the fallen and would deliver unto him a chariot for the rider to follow a true course, but whence he came upon Agivey the rescuers were lost to him. The rider kept faith with the wheelers and did trust that they were caring for the newbies at the heights above Bendorrah and did press onto the yoke of his chariot with all his might. Yeah though the rider did smite on the pedals the blow crept upon him and the lord did announce the blow with thunder and with gnashing of teeth the rider was punished as a sinner who had indulged and had not paid his just dues. The rider was admonished by the lord and, on his knees he did pray for the wheelers to rescue him upon the city of Ballymoney. The rider lost all faith in the city and strayed from the path of the wheelers and was cast into the wastes of Stranocum without hope and without sustenance or support until he came upon the dry arch whereupon he heard the call of the wheelers from the oasis beside the home of the water of life. The rider’s faith was restored and he did hold his resolve to battle into the teeth of the wind from the west and defeat the threat of the knock firm in his belief that the wheelers would ride to meet him or tarry further at the oasis until his arrival.
The rider came upon the oasis but the wheelers chariots were not in sight and the rider was not pleased. He cursed the wheelers with a thousand saddlesores and did resolve to make forth to his camp to seek refuge and prayed that his chariot would carry him home.
And the rider did resolve that, in future, all commandments should be chiselled in stone so that all true believers would keep to their troth and unite in runs with a 16mph average.

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One Response to “The Sunday Lesson”

  1. Duntally February 4, 2013 at 11:58 am #

    A truly epic encounter, Elijah would have been proud of him.

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